Conducting a refocusing meeting

"I've asked him for it 10 times..." "she doesn't follow the rules"...A manager's life is punctuated by conflicts that prevent us from advancing as planned. And so sometimes, when dialogue and explanations have not produced the desired effect, reframing becomes essential.
Lead your co-worker to take on the issue
As long as your co-worker feels or declares himself to be unconcerned by the problem, your discussion will not go anywhere. A sometimes "laborious" initial stage consists in pushing (without aggression) on his points of resistance so that he sees his share of the responsibility: In what way is it important for you that...? What would happen if...?       
Hold firm to get responses
If your co-worker doesn't give a real answer, it can be tempting to do it for him! However, if you let him escape the exchange, he can retreat into passivity, to "wait and see". The goal of the meeting: his involvement.
Emphasize the stakes
Our natural tendency: to minimize problems and then one day to explode because they haven't been resolved! It is better, when the situation becomes intolerable, to say it clearly. Not to threaten but to express "this is the thing, with respect to …, that is really serious." We do not try to frighten but on the contrary to prompt a "realization of responsibility" before it becomes too late.       
Each question has only one correct response, but be careful: among the possible responses there is one that is "almost correct" and might make the choice harder!
1 / 3   Do your remarks have no effect?
Yvon regularly turns up 20 to 30 minutes late.  You have already mentioned this, but to no effect, what do you say to him today? 
You are late again this morning. You really have to make an effort. It’s not fair on your colleagues
Pointless. You have already made several remarks. One more won't change anything. Well... I can see my comments are without effect, you seem to do it on purpose, and so, you will be getting a warning
Well... I can see my comments are without effect, you seem to do it on purpose, and so, you will be getting a warning
Showing that the situation cannot continue for long is a good idea. But to warn before acting could arrange things.
Yvon, the discussions we've had on your lateness have had no effect, and this is regrettable. The next step will have to be a sanction. Is this what you want?
It is a way of alerting Yvon, to make him understand his responsibilities. A last chance!
You are late again this morning, what was the problem?
This is no longer the question! Yet another excuse won't get us anywhere
2 / 3   Being unpleasant to colleagues
While under stress, Brice has a bad habit of being unpleasant with his colleagues. You decide to let him know of your disapproval. What do you do?
 After going over the facts, you tell him: "It is not acceptable to talk to your colleagues in such a way and I ask you not to do it again. Can you assure me of your commitment?"
You explain your position and asking for his commitment is absolutely essential. You alert him without threatening him: the ball is in your court
You warn him: "if it happens again, I will have to resort to sanctions "
A threat is sometimes less effective than a firm and irrevocable demand. Best start this way
You approach the Human Resource Department to give him a warning
A sanction is possible but a verbal warning, if it is very clear, may be sufficient
You open a discussion:" I don't understand why you talk in such a way to your colleagues. It is very unpleasant for them. What is making you so stressed? "
Very understandable but, before, it would be best to firmly express your request, then, if Brice agrees, you can help him to improve.  
3 / 3   I can't help it!
Referring to the previous question": "It is not acceptable to talk to your colleagues in such a way and I ask you not to do it again. Can you assure me of your commitment? ". Brice replies: "but I can't help it, I am under stress!".What do you say to this?
This is not an excuse, can you imagine if everybody did the same!
Lecturing him won't change anything.
So, what could you do when you feel the stress building up?
A little early for that, first we should make sure whether solving the issue is possible and important for Brice
Are you telling me that it is not possible to change?
It is, indeed, a clear formulation of the implicit message.  Depending on the reply, either you continue with the question «what exactly do you want to change? " or you take other measures. 
Have you already tried stress management techniques?
At this stage, it is not your role to propose solutions; it would be pointless
Your score is
You finished!
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