Remember

Stepping back

First assumption: that the co-worker has good reasons to see things the way he does.
The manager lets him express himself and develop his thoughts, work on them, shake them up, refine them.

Absorbing

Second assumption: that what the manager thinks is not important right now. What the co-worker thinks is the essential material of the discussion.
The manager absorbs the other's point of view, at least temporarily. He is willing to adopt that perception and to be enriched by it.
Going first to the other's position does not obligate him to stay there!

Naive questioning

The objective:
- Collecting information, to try to speak about the same thing
- Leading the other to take a step back, change his angle of view and perhaps see things differently
- Giving yourself a chance to step back, change your angle of view, and perhaps see things differently!

Evaluation

Each question has only one correct response, but be careful: among the possible responses there is one that is "almost correct" and might make the choice harder!

1 / 3 Overloaded!

Sonia tells you of a concern she has: "“I can’t cope with the updates, I get the impression it’s never ending, and I’ll never get them done in time.” What do you reply?

It’s the same every time, as soon as a task is a little complex and needs a little anticipation you can’t cope. ⚠

You’re not helping Sonia by confirming she’s not up to scratch.

How far behind are you? ⚠

This is a little early, it’s not Sonia’s main message.

Sure enough, this is disturbing ,you did well to alert me. What do you expect from me at this moment in time? ✓

You appreciate Sonia’s actions and lead her to reflect on what assistance she needs.

I’m going to see who can help you. Where exactly are you? ⚠

You immediately propose a solution but, possibly, not the most effective for your collaborator.

2 / 3 Is it a question of motivation?

Martin tells you that for some time now, because of the new organisation structure, he feels less motivated. What do you reply to him?

But, little has changed! ⚠

You play down Martin’s perception, he will have to justify himself: you won’t get where you want to go.

What's most difficult for you in the new organisation structure? ✓

This is a key question: it leads Martin to reflect, specify and prioritise.

How can we get you motivated again? ⚠

This is a difficult and risky question. Martin could reply that there should be a return to the old organisation structure!

It’s normal; it takes time to adapt to everything. ⚠

Reply which plays down the situation, but insufficient. Needs to be supplemented by an open question (see question 2)

3 / 3 Your collaborator complains

One of your collaborators, Eric, says” I’ve had enough; my manager never stops criticising me.”I’m not quick enough, not precise enough... He doesn’t realise the amount of work I do. Which reply shows most that you’re listening?

Don’t get yourself in such a state, calm down. Maybe he doesn’t really think that... ⚠

Playing down his anger gives Eric the impression you’re not listening to him.

I can imagine how disappointing it must be... You don’t feel your true worth is recognized. ✓

You listened to Eric’s message and encourage him to carry on, therefore, give him confidence.

You never really got on together, it’s not surprising there is tension between you; you both want to assert yourselves. ⚠

You give your interpretation. Not sure this will help Éric step back and put things into perspective.

Your score is

0/3

You finished!

To review the questions and responses, please choose from the list below.

Listening or judging: the decision to exchange